Why Can’t I Lose Weight?

Posted on by

What if everything you have heard for years of your life was very incomplete information and counting calories, decreasing them and relying on will-power, “the eat less, workout more advice” has just truly increased our obesity rate by triple since 1960!!!  The misinformation surrounding fats, has been detrimental to our physical and mental health.  Fats are necessary for proper cell functioning, metabolism, and are the building blocks to cell membranes and every hormone in your body.  Our focus on calories has missed the mark completely and our fat free life has created physical and mental conditions while making us fat……now what?

It is imperative to know which fats should be a daily staple and are helping you to become a “fat burner” and which ones are inflammatory and should be avoided.  The gut microbiome is also a huge factor in mental health, weight gain and every condition.  Having too many pathogenic bacteria and not enough beneficial can seriously damage your health.  You are 10 x the amount of bacteria as your own human cells so it is important to understand how a dysbiosis plays a key role in dysregulation of your metabolism, increased inflammation and appetite.

Weight loss plateaus are a very common and frustrating problem.  Nutritional imbalances are the most common issue due to a widespread deficiency of many nutrients that help control inflammation, control blood sugar and balance hormones.

Do you want to turn your body into a lean, energetic, efficient super operating system?

Nutrition protocols can help reset and fine tune your metabolism and detoxification processes, using food as the foundation to work on achieving balance in all systems of the body. Forget the calories, focus on the quality of your diet! This means when you stop eating foods that work against you and your body starts working optimally, weight loss happens as a side effect of that.  This eventually means no more cravings!

Instead of continuing to blame yourself for lack of willpower, start empowering yourself by eating real, whole, fresh food that are balanced in nutrients, low in sugar and starch. There is no success in dogma or a single category diet, each individual is uniquely different.  While it is important to follow some overall important nutrition guidelines, it is imperative to dial into these concepts while also removing toxins from foods and eating the right foods at the most usable time of the day. Food preparation is another consideration if you are cooking in a way at home that makes a food inflammatory or even carcinogenic.

The goal here is to flood your body with the amazing nutrients that most benefit your genetic predispositions as a bio individual, to figure out what may be compromising your weight loss.  What may be extremely supportive for one person may be kryptonite for another.

Your food has the exceptional ability to make you lose weight, look amazing and feel energetic but done wrong it will bring you to a complete state of dysfunction.   Your nutrition is 80% of health, it has little to do with aging.  Food is information to your cells and fuel for your mitochondria.

After figuring out which mechanisms are effecting the plateau or inability to lose weight, whether through food or support of bio chemical imbalances through supplementation, the goal for each client is to continue to modify their protocol with strategies that are as much sustainable as successful.

The most complex of tasks can become easier and simpler if you take them one step at a time. We are here to simplify the process and decipher the myths of dieting that keep you spinning on that hamster wheel.

Please call me at 919-427-5946 for an appointment or email me questions at kimshack12@yahoo.com.

Wishing you health,

Kim Shackleford

 

Online Porn and Teenage Viewers

Posted on by

Eighty million a day. That’s how many visitors Pornhub.com draws. And that’s only one adult site—albeit the largest one. Any teenager with a laptop or smartphone can access a continual stream of adult material, and parental controls usually do not filter all the content. So, how is pornography affecting those who are growing up with it?

Let me say first that my perspective as a therapist is not to laud or condemn adult sexual activity that is consensual and legal, but to provide compassionate help for those who experience an addiction to it. People are not able to grow and change when they feel judged. As a therapist, I also seek to understand what effect porn has on the general population, particularly on children and teens who may be viewing it for the first time.

The number of young adults who come to our office seeking help for a pornography addiction is increasing. It’s difficult to determine the age at which young people are seeing it for the first time, but estimates range between 10 and 14 years old. Some children are exposed as early as 7—usually by accident or by a sibling. That first viewing is often a mixture of captivating, disturbing, and confusing to young children.

Over the years, mental health professionals have noted a “classic” correlation between sex addiction and childhood trauma; however, because of the widespread availability of pornography, a “contemporary” form of addiction to porn has appeared which does not include sexual acting out (Riemersma, J. Sytsma, M. 2013. A New Generation of Sexual Addiction. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 20:306-322).

The porn addict may intend to spend only about 15 minutes looking at porn, but then 2 or 3 hours later, he or she is still transfixed by it. School performance can suffer, as well as relationships, social groups, and other nurturing activities. Watching porn may become a closely guarded secret—out of shame for the types of porn being viewed, out of embarrassment for the frequency of viewing, because of religious injunctions, or any number of other reasons. Over time, porn viewing can become a shameful secret, and the problem with shameful secrets is that they tend to drive us into disconnection—away from healthy, supportive relationships. Many addicts live a life of compartmentalization—a respected image on the outside and a shameful secret on the inside.

For teenagers, but also for some adults, there can be confusion over what “real” sex is like. The women in the videos seem to enjoy or even prefer being slammed against the wall; the men in the videos are well-endowed and seem to be able to perform with total endurance for hours. The young porn viewer may wonder, is this what women want? Is this what is expected of me in bed? Real-life sex can have its own excitement and beauty, but it’s important to realize that, at times, it can be awkward and emotionally complex. The nurturing, caring side of real-life relationships can be discounted or misunderstood because of the virtual world of porn.

Most pornography addicts come to a place where they realize they can no longer afford to be continuously swept up in another cycle of binging on porn. I provide non-shaming, compassionate help to those whose activities have become out of their control. I do not guilt clients into changing their behavior, but I help them use their own desire for change to move forward to the life they want. I also assist them in seeing their own strengths in the recovery process. It’s important to provide practical resources, not just theories. The client is in control of the speed at which we move through therapy, and if something isn’t working, I’m happy to try a different method.

As you, the client, get more stable in sobriety, we start to peel back the layers of the onion so that you can understand why you have been addicted to pornography or sex. Your life will start to change; you will feel differently about your relationships, your work, and yourself. Your path to healing starts with a phone call or an email. Contact me today to set up your free 20-minute phone consultation. Help is just around the corner; you don’t have to do this alone.


If you would like to schedule an appointment with Tim, please call him at 919-533-7907. Or you can e-mail him at tim@bullcitypsychotherapy.com

Traditional Acupuncture in Durham, NC

Posted on by

Bull City Psychotherapy and Wellness welcomes Dr. Geng Wu, Doctor of Chinese Medicine to their Durham, NC office location in Croasdaile Office Park. Dr. Wu also uses traditional Chinese herbs to help people stay healthy and/or feel less symptoms of pain.

 

Below is a message from Dr. Wu about what Chinese Medicine is:

Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) is a practical medicine, that has been extracted from millions of experiences cultivated throughout some thousands of years of Chinese history. Only the practices that have been proven effective have been collected and organized.

Chinese thinking regards nature as the standard for judgment. Traditional Chinese Medicine  naturally has the same principle in its judgment and practice. Treatment methods such as herbs, acupuncture, and physical therapy, are prescribed to maintain the body’s state of health and increase its self-healing ability rather than treating diseases after they have already occurred. This kind of treatment is particularly effective in cases of chronic diseases. The purpose of TCM is to be preventive and continue optimal health, rather than letting people get sick and then treating symptoms.

Even if tests to determine diagnoses show negative results, according to TCM, having subjective symptoms and recognizable changes, in many cases, are signs of early stages of diseases. If no treatments are given until a patient’s test date arises, the disease will have progressed in the interim. In other words, TCM targets diseases in early stages to prevent chronic symptoms. Thus, as a Doctor of Chinese Medicine, my biggest concern is the prevention of patient suffering.

Dr. Geng Wu, with a Diploma of Oriental Medicine (NCCAOM), is licensed by the state to practice in North Carolina. M.D. (China). Dr. Wu graduated from Beijing University of the Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), the best six-year full-time TCM program in China. She practiced and taught as a chief doctor in the affiliated hospital of Beijing University of TCM. As a counselor and instructor, Dr. Wu practiced and taught TCM for nearly 16 years in Japan.  Providing treatment and relief for specialties such as,  pain management, sport injuries, GYN diseases, infertility, menopause symptoms and problems, weight loss, auto-immune and endocrine system disorders, stroke rehabilitation, hypertension, gastrointestinal disorders, low energy, fatigue, respiratory diseases, allergies, neurological and stress-related disorders, insomnia, addictions and skin problems

Dr. Wu published more than 50 professional articles. She is a member of China Association of
Acupuncture and Moxibustion, and a member of the Chinese Medical Association.

If you would like to schedule an appointment with Geng, please call her at Bull City Psychotherapy at 919-382-0288.Or you can e-mail her at geng@bullcitypsychotherapy.com

Dr. Geng Wu Bull City Psychotherapy Chinese Medicine

Why Getting Enough Sleep is Critical to Your Health

Posted on by

Sleep deprivation - BullCityPsychotherapy - SophiaCaudle Kim Shackleford - healthy sleep

 

The result of not sleeping is much more serious than you think.  Yes, you can wake up overtired, moody, mentally foggy, having poor energy levels without the alertness to handle tasks as you should. There are alarming things that happen when you do not sleep consistently. Chronic sleep deprivation can lead to depression, weight gain, premature aging by a major reduction in growth hormone which is released during sleep, increased inflammation, decreased immune function and many dysfunctions in the body. More importantly, if you do not get good quality sleep or enough sleep it can take years off your life. It is important as a goal to get a minimum of 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night. There is a study by the Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine that showed a 400% increase in cancer for those who sleep less than 6 hours a night.  Lack of sleep actually triples your chance of these conditions. It seems to be one of the first things people decide they can disregard in terms of health. People think if they work out and eat somewhat healthy that is the end all. Your sleep cycle is so important for your long-term health. Read more Why Getting Enough Sleep is Critical to Your Health ›

Ambiguous Grief: The 5th “Big D” Disappointment

Posted on by

Ambiguous Grief Disappointment Sophia Caudle Bull City Psychotherapy

 

In my current exploratory research into ambiguous grief, it has become very clear, very quickly, that there is another type of grief that is just as important as the four previously identified types of ambiguous grief: Divorce, Disclosure, Diagnosis, and Death of a Relationship. This 5th ‘Big D’ is Disappointment.

Read more Ambiguous Grief: The 5th “Big D” Disappointment ›

Why Now Is the Time To Face Your Porn Addiction

Posted on by

sex addiction porn addiction depression bull city psychotherapy couples counseling

 

Remember when Harry Potter gazes into the Mirror of Erised? His own parents gaze back at him adoringly–the same parents who gave their lives to protect him from the evil Voldemort. But Dumbledore warns Harry that some people have been so captivated by the mirror that they literally cannot walk away. The mirror is terribly alluring because it reflects the viewer’s deepest desire. Erised, by the way, is ‘desire’ spelled backward.

In a similar way, addicts can be lost in the gaze of the unreality of porn–by unresolved issues that are a reflection of their deepest desire. As Dr. Patrick Carnes writes, “Gazing at the fantasy is like pouring water into a bottomless glass. It never fills. In this way our addiction is an ally to the self, protecting some truth we wish not to face” (Carnes, Facing the Shadow). Our core issues can be related to childhood trauma, guilt over something we have done or failed to do, or a tendency to compartmentalize our feelings with unreality, to name a few. Read more Why Now Is the Time To Face Your Porn Addiction ›

Ambiguous Grief and the ‘4 Big D’s’

Posted on by

marriage counseling durham nc ambiguous grief

Ambiguous Grief is the grief experienced from the loss of a loved one, who is still alive, accompanied by a change or death of the relationship. © (Caudle & Sarazin, 2018).

When we lose a loved one, and they are still alive, it can obviously be very painful.  When our loved one is still living and we are not with them, sometimes we have difficulties accepting the current situation.

There are many reasons why we might lose someone we love, even if they are still living. The feeling after the loss is ambiguous grief. Ambiguous grief differs from typical grief, because our loved one has not died, but rather he/she is now absent from our life in the way we had grown accustomed to. Read more Ambiguous Grief and the ‘4 Big D’s’ ›

Should I Take Psychiatric Medication?

Posted on by

Should I take psychiatric medication?
If you have ever experienced symptoms of anxiety or depression, you may have considered taking a psychiatric medication. Perhaps, an antidepressant has been recommended. Maybe you are already seeing a therapist to help with these symptoms and the therapist has suggested you consider medication. But you don’t want to take medication. Or maybe you want to know more about them before you start a new prescription. Read more Should I Take Psychiatric Medication? ›

What is Ambiguous Grief?

Posted on by

Ambiguous Grief

 

Have you ever lost someone that you loved very much…..and he/she is still alive? Has one of your loved ones ever completely changed their personality, and thus your relationship is not the same? Do you love someone who you cannot be with, because it will jeopardize your recovery? If you answered, ‘Yes’ to any of these questions, you have experienced ambiguous grief.  If you think you are either experiencing, or have experienced Ambiguous Grief, please complete this very brief survey and help us learn more about ambiguous grief, so we can all benefit from more knowledge on this new topic, and more people can be helped. Thank you!  

Read more What is Ambiguous Grief? ›

Betrayal Trauma

Posted on by

 

Betrayal trauma occurs when we are wounded by someone we have come to trust.  When we put faith into another person to be there for us, especially to love us, our hearts and our minds come to recognize them as safe.  They can be trusted with our feelings. When that trust is broken the pain can be devastating, and even traumatic. Read more Betrayal Trauma ›