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Dr. Sophia Opens New Office in Charlotte!
3315 Springbank Lane Suite 106
Charlotte, NC 28226
The Love Killer of RIGIDITY
There are many ways we can withhold love. The withholding of love can look like avoidance, silence, anger, making jokes instead of feeling feelings, pretending everything is fine and not talking about tough topics, lack of affection, as well as a general detachment in relationships. The withholding of love is a ‘Love Killer’ over time.
Another primary way withholding of love can show up is rigidity. Rigidity is a very harsh love killer, because it completely invalidates the other person
in the relationship. For instance, a partner who digs his/her/their heels in repeatedly and refuses to budge is being rigid. Rigid partners do not typically discuss conflict, rather they tell others what to do and how things are going to be, or they avoid. Also, continued rigidity creates an impossible situation to work through. The deeper one is in rigidity, the less likely one can find a way out and choose a different way of being. The partner who is habitually rigid gets more deeply stuck into the trap of being rigid, therefore as time goes on, there is less likelihood that the rigid pattern will
change. Rigidity becomes a familiar brain habit.
Rigid people typically do not see, hear, or empathize with their partner. The partner must choose between herself, or she must abandon herself and be controlled in order to save the relationship. Rigidity is a lose-lose relationship pattern. The partner who experiences rigidity feels very disconnected from her partner, and this prolonged pattern can create an unfortunate natural consequence, called ‘killing love.’ Nothing says ‘you are not important and you don’t matter to me’ more than rigidity.
In an intimate relationship, rigidity feels like painful abandonment being handed out by the one we love the most. It is excruciating not to be seen by our partner. This is especially harmful if it is a pattern. Over time, we can fall out of love with a rigid partner, because rigidity creates
disconnection, pain, and it completely invalidates us as a human being in the relationship.
Addiction creates a rigid brain. Recovery creates a pliable and flexible brain. Rigidity is one reason why it is so difficult to be in a relationship with an active addict. It is also important to know that even if one is in sobriety, rigidity can continue without a true recovery. A deep and True Recovery, however, can help us move away from rigid thinking and behavior into a place of being capable of giving and receiving care, comfort, safety, nurturing, affection, and LOVE.
~Dr. Sophia
Check out the latest episodes of our Sex and the Bull City Podcast now!
Listen to the most recent episode of our podcast:
Dr. Sophia & Celynd Discuss Transgender Care & Parenting
Watch on YouTube: HERE
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Send your questions to be answered to sexandthecity@bullcitypsychotherapy.com
“My intensive work with Sophia was life-changing. At the end of our time, I felt peaceful and hopeful and happy about creating a relationship with a loved one from whom I had been estranged. I felt as if I had been given a lighted mirror into my soul – along with some cleaner to erase the many streaks on the mirror. The work was hard and exhausting. Deciding to do this intensive was one of the best decisions of my life.” -L.M.
“I have been to many therapists throughout my life, and the experience with Dr. Sophia can not be compared. In the time I spent with her, I feel like we accomplished what years of traditional therapy could not. Her approach to grief, and to helping me understand exactly why this is key, is transformative. She equipped me with hands on ways to continue on a healthy path, without the anxiety of when these issues will creep up on me again. I feel like the puzzle pieces of myself and my life that I had laid out on the table before me have been snapped into place through this work.”
-S.P.
Bull City Psychotherapy, PLLC.
Sophia Caudle, PhD and Associates. Psychotherapy and Counseling Services in Durham, Charlotte, & Wilmington NC
SEX ADDICTION, SEX THERAPY, INTIMACY, GENDER IDENTITY, LGBTQ+, & RELATIONSHIP PSYCHOTHERAPY FOR ADULTS & ADOLESCENTS
Greetings and Welcome to Bull City Psychotherapy!
We are so pleased that you have taken the next step to choosing joy in your life. Our therapists at Bull City Psychotherapy are passionate about helping clients live the life they have always dreamed of. We are committed to working together with you to listen, support, and create a successful plan for you to learn the tools needed for overall life happiness. All of the therapists at BCP are highly qualified with advanced degrees and certifications in psychotherapy. We also have decades of experience working with clients who come to us with many issues such as depression, anxiety, addictions, compulsive behaviors, marriage infidelity, eating disorders, relationship difficulties, trauma, and grief/loss, among others.
We offer both individual and group counseling for adults, college students, and teens. We also proudly invite all people into our practice regardless of ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation.
Dr. Sophia’s newest location! Queen City Healthy Sex and Relationships is located at 3315 Springbank Lane suite 106 Charlotte, NC 28226. Queen City Healthy Sex specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and intimacy building, Sex Addiction, betrayal trauma, general trauma, grief, anxiety, depression, ADHD, OCD, bipolar, nutilple addictions, and much more. Intensive sessions are available to schedule.
Evenings and Weekend Therapy Appointments Available!
Please call (919) 382-0288 or book an appointment online
Ambiguous Grief Research Findings
Read more here: Ambiguous Grief Press Release
What is Ambiguous Grief?
Have you ever lost someone that you loved very much…..and he/she is still alive? Has one of your loved ones ever completely changed their personality, and thus your relationship is not the same? Do you love someone who you cannot be with, because it will jeopardize your recovery? If you answered, ‘Yes’ to any of these questions, you have experienced ambiguous grief.
If you think you are either experiencing, or have experienced Ambiguous Grief, please complete this very brief survey and help us learn more about ambiguous grief, so we can all benefit from more knowledge on this new topic, and more people can be helped. Thank you!
Ambiguous Grief Survey
Live Online Meetings with Dr. Caudle.
Join the online recovery community, In The Rooms, at www.intherooms.com to attend Dr. Caudle’s meeting every Wednesday at noon about Codependency, Grief, and Relationships!
Common Questions:
– Are you feeling hopeless?
– Worry too much?
– Do you experience panic attacks?
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– Sex, Love, and Porn Addiction
– Alcoholism
– Substance Abuse
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– Conflicts with family and friends?
– Do you feel empty in your relationships?
– Do you know how to act in a healthy relationship?
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