In my current exploratory research into ambiguous grief, it has become very clear, very quickly, that there is another type of grief that is just as important as the four previously identified types of ambiguous grief: Divorce, Disclosure, Diagnosis, and Death of a Relationship. This 5th ‘Big D’ is Disappointment.
Ambiguous grief is the grief experienced from the loss of a loved one, who is still alive, accompanied by a change or death of the relationship. © (Caudle & Sarazin, 2018). Disappointment is a common theme that has been expressed by many clients and people in general, in regards to experiencing, at times, profound feelings of ambiguous grief. In this sense, the disappointment theme seems to be identified as the new or always known awareness of something we did not ever have or experience. For example, the awareness of the healthy parenting that one was not fortunate enough to have in childhood. Another example is the awareness of the unhealthy aspects of a former relationship that we believed was healthy at one time. A third example is a goal or dream that was never realized.
All of these examples of ambiguous grief have one thing in common; there is a tendency to look backward and feel loss for something we may never have had. Awareness, in general, can be a very powerful and helpful thing, however, if we focus on a new awareness that identifies loss or lack, for some people this can be very damaging if they get stuck focusing on what never was.
To learn more about how ambiguous grief and disappointment can be worked through, contact Dr. Sophia Caudle at Bull City Psychotherapy.
Dr. Sophia D. Caudle is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Supervisor, and Educational Consultant. Under her leadership, Bull City Psychotherapy specializes in individual and group counseling for adults, adolescents, and couples. Dr. Caudle also supervises counselors who are in the process of obtaining their License in Professional Counseling.
With almost 20 years experience as a practicing counselor and psychotherapist, and as a graduate of both North Carolina Central University with a double-Masters in Community and School Counseling as well as North Carolina State University with a Doctorate in Counselor Education and School Administration, Dr. Caudle strives to provide each client with his/her own individual treatment, utilizing cognitive-based, dialectic behavioral therapy, with a reality-based emphasis. Her areas of expertise are assisting clients with depression/anxiety, bipolar, substance abuse, sex and love addiction, internet pornography, intimacy issues, gaming addiction, trauma, grief/loss, anger management, problem-solving skills, social skills training, learning challenges, behavior issues, among many others. To schedule an appointment with Dr. Caudle, please call (919) 382-0288 or email her at sophia@bullcitypsychotherapy.com.