Author: Sophia Caudle

Why Now Is the Time To Face Your Porn Addiction

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Remember when Harry Potter gazes into the Mirror of Erised? His own parents gaze back at him adoringly–the same parents who gave their lives to protect him from the evil Voldemort. But Dumbledore warns Harry that some people have been so captivated by the mirror that they literally cannot walk away. The mirror is terribly alluring because it reflects the viewer’s deepest desire. Erised, by the way, is ‘desire’ spelled backward.

In a similar way, addicts can be lost in the gaze of the unreality of porn–by unresolved issues that are a reflection of their deepest desire. As Dr. Patrick Carnes writes, “Gazing at the fantasy is like pouring water into a bottomless glass. It never fills. In this way our addiction is an ally to the self, protecting some truth we wish not to face” (Carnes, Facing the Shadow). Our core issues can be related to childhood trauma, guilt over something we have done or failed to do, or a tendency to compartmentalize our feelings with unreality, to name a few. Read more Why Now Is the Time To Face Your Porn Addiction ›

Ambiguous Grief and the ‘4 Big D’s’

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marriage counseling durham nc ambiguous grief

Ambiguous Grief is the grief experienced from the loss of a loved one, who is still alive, accompanied by a change or death of the relationship. © (Caudle & Sarazin, 2018).

When we lose a loved one, and they are still alive, it can obviously be very painful.  When our loved one is still living and we are not with them, sometimes we have difficulties accepting the current situation.

There are many reasons why we might lose someone we love, even if they are still living. The feeling after the loss is ambiguous grief. Ambiguous grief differs from typical grief, because our loved one has not died, but rather he/she is now absent from our life in the way we had grown accustomed to. Read more Ambiguous Grief and the ‘4 Big D’s’ ›

Should I Take Psychiatric Medication?

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Should I take psychiatric medication?
If you have ever experienced symptoms of anxiety or depression, you may have considered taking a psychiatric medication. Perhaps, an antidepressant has been recommended. Maybe you are already seeing a therapist to help with these symptoms and the therapist has suggested you consider medication. But you don’t want to take medication. Or maybe you want to know more about them before you start a new prescription. Read more Should I Take Psychiatric Medication? ›

What is Ambiguous Grief?

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Ambiguous Grief

 

Have you ever lost someone that you loved very much…..and he/she is still alive? Has one of your loved ones ever completely changed their personality, and thus your relationship is not the same? Do you love someone who you cannot be with, because it will jeopardize your recovery? If you answered, ‘Yes’ to any of these questions, you have experienced ambiguous grief.  If you think you are either experiencing, or have experienced Ambiguous Grief, please complete this very brief survey and help us learn more about ambiguous grief, so we can all benefit from more knowledge on this new topic, and more people can be helped. Thank you!  

Read more What is Ambiguous Grief? ›

Betrayal Trauma

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Betrayal trauma occurs when we are wounded by someone we have come to trust.  When we put faith into another person to be there for us, especially to love us, our hearts and our minds come to recognize them as safe.  They can be trusted with our feelings. When that trust is broken the pain can be devastating, and even traumatic. Read more Betrayal Trauma ›

When Is Couples Work Most Helpful in the Recovery Process?

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Oftentimes, when I am contacted for couples counseling with a couple who has sex or love addiction issues, and we have the couple’s first session, it usually becomes very clear, very quickly, that couples counseling is not going to be very effective early on in treatment. Some of the ways that we can determine this is if the couple is stuck in their relationship’s toxic cycle, or if one of the couple ship is not able to maintain sobriety.

Read more When Is Couples Work Most Helpful in the Recovery Process? ›

Adolescent Sexuality: How does it work these days, and when should we reach out to a therapist?

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Our sexual opinions and behaviors can change significantly based upon our age, experiences, and values.  We have the honor of working with a wide variety of clients and their sexual experiences are as different as any other parts of their story.  We know it to be true that our experiences with sexuality in adolescence have an impact in how we experience sexuality as an adult.  But, the details can change from person to person.

Read more Adolescent Sexuality: How does it work these days, and when should we reach out to a therapist? ›

My husband’s a sex addict. Do I need to worry about our children?

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My husband is a sex addict. Do I need to worry if he might sexually abuse our children?

 

As a CSAT, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist,  working primarily with Partners, in the early stages of their recovery, I regularly get asked by my Partner clients if the children are in danger from their father who is a sex addict. This question is asked from a place of recent trauma, intense fear, and complete mistrust of the husband/addict, who is also the person who the Partner loves/loved and trusted very deeply. Likely, before finding out about sexual infidelities and addiction invading the relationship, the thought of her husband abusing children was never a concern. In my experience, this is a fair question in a therapeutic setting, so the client can learn more about what sex addiction is, and in turn, what is sex-offending behavior. So, it is very important to know that only approximately 10% of sex addicts are also sex offenders.

Read more My husband’s a sex addict. Do I need to worry about our children? ›

Do you know what gratitude is?

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Quick Hits:

  • Gratitude is not simply saying “thank you”.

  • You should be intentionally practicing gratitude daily because of its many proven physical and psychological health benefits.

  • Simple, quick exercises can help you realize these many benefits.(action steps listed below)

Personal disclaimer (you can skip this part if you just want the tips):  I LOVE this topic more than just about any other.  I’m fascinated by gratitude.  I’ve spoken to people who have made gratitude the cornerstone of their lives.  It is the foundation of their spiritual condition.  I’ve also spoken to people who have ever hardly given it a second thought.  To me, anything that covers that much ground has got to be interesting.  This post discusses the academic research that has defined gratitude, proven its utility in our lives, and prescribed ways to practice it.  Whether you practice gratitude daily, or never think about it, I suspect you’ll find this information intriguing if not downright exhilarating. Here’s the gratitude post…

Read more Do you know what gratitude is? ›

Depression, Anxiety and Insomnia Treatment: ALPHA-STIM AID

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Bull City Psychotherapy has a new and effective treatment to add to your personal toolbox for help with depression, anxiety, and insomnia. Alpha-Stim is a clinically proven medical device that relieves anxiety, insomnia, and depression by using electromedical technology. Alpha-Stim has a unique patented waveform that starts at the electron level to allow your body’s cells to return to their natural functioning states. Alpha-Stim provides long lasting cumulative relief without the risk of negative effects such as tolerance and/or reliance on medications.

The Alpha-Stim current is applied with easy to use clips that attach to the ear lobes for at least 20 minutes 2-3 times per week, or on an as needed basis. Alpha-Stim can help you feel a relaxed sense of well-being.

 

What to Expect From Your Alpha-Stim Treatments?

Anxiety reduction is usually experienced during a single treatment, and may last for hours or days after. Insomnia is often improved after the initial treatment as well, but may take up to

four weeks to see a significant change. Depression typically takes at least three weeks of daily treatment before you may notice a significant improvement.

 

Is Alpha-Stim Safe?

There are over 100 research studies proving the effectiveness and safety of Alpha-Stim. Go to www.alpha-stim.com to read more.

Dr. Sophia Caudle is a certified a certified Alpha-Stim clinician and distributor. Please contact her for more information.