In my current exploratory research into ambiguous grief, it has become very clear, very quickly, that there is another type of grief that is just as important as the four previously identified types of ambiguous grief: Divorce, Disclosure, Diagnosis, and Death of a Relationship. This 5th ‘Big D’ is Disappointment.
Remember when Harry Potter gazes into the Mirror of Erised? His own parents gaze back at him adoringly–the same parents who gave their lives to protect him from the evil Voldemort. But Dumbledore warns Harry that some people have been so captivated by the mirror that they literally cannot walk away. The mirror is terribly alluring because it reflects the viewer’s deepest desire. Erised, by the way, is ‘desire’ spelled backward.
In a similar way, addicts can be lost in the gaze of the unreality of porn–by unresolved issues that are a reflection of their deepest desire. As Dr. Patrick Carnes writes, “Gazing at the fantasy is like pouring water into a bottomless glass. It never fills. In this way our addiction is an ally to the self, protecting some truth we wish not to face” (Carnes, Facing the Shadow). Our core issues can be related to childhood trauma, guilt over something we have done or failed to do, or a tendency to compartmentalize our feelings with unreality, to name a few. Read more Why Now Is the Time To Face Your Porn Addiction
Ambiguous Grief is the grief experienced from the loss of a loved one, who is still alive, accompanied by a change or death of the relationship. © (Caudle & Sarazin, 2018).
When we lose a loved one, and they are still alive, it can obviously be very painful. When our loved one is still living and we are not with them, sometimes we have difficulties accepting the current situation.
There are many reasons why we might lose someone we love, even if they are still living. The feeling after the loss is ambiguous grief. Ambiguous grief differs from typical grief, because our loved one has not died, but rather he/she is now absent from our life in the way we had grown accustomed to. Read more Ambiguous Grief and the ‘4 Big D’s’
Have you ever lost someone that you loved very much…..and he/she is still alive? Has one of your loved ones ever completely changed their personality, and thus your relationship is not the same? Do you love someone who you cannot be with, because it will jeopardize your recovery? If you answered, ‘Yes’ to any of these questions, you have experienced ambiguous grief. If you think you are either experiencing, or have experienced Ambiguous Grief, please complete this very brief survey and help us learn more about ambiguous grief, so we can all benefit from more knowledge on this new topic, and more people can be helped. Thank you!
Bull City Psychotherapy has a new and effective treatment to add to your personal toolbox for help with depression, anxiety, and insomnia. Alpha-Stim is a clinically proven medical device that relieves anxiety, insomnia, and depression by using electromedical technology. Alpha-Stim has a unique patented waveform that starts at the electron level to allow your body’s cells to return to their natural functioning states. Alpha-Stim provides long lasting cumulative relief without the risk of negative effects such as tolerance and/or reliance on medications.
The Alpha-Stim current is applied with easy to use clips that attach to the ear lobes for at least 20 minutes 2-3 times per week, or on an as needed basis. Alpha-Stim can help you feel a relaxed sense of well-being.
What to Expect From Your Alpha-Stim Treatments?
Anxiety reduction is usually experienced during a single treatment, and may last for hours or days after. Insomnia is often improved after the initial treatment as well, but may take up to
four weeks to see a significant change. Depression typically takes at least three weeks of daily treatment before you may notice a significant improvement.
Is Alpha-Stim Safe?
There are over 100 research studies proving the effectiveness and safety of Alpha-Stim. Go to www.alpha-stim.com to read more.
Dr. Sophia Caudle is a certified a certified Alpha-Stim clinician and distributor. Please contact her for more information.