Breathe, baby, breathe

Posted on November 22, 2019 by Sophia Caudle

breathing bull city psychotherapy

A daily breathing practice is proven to be good for your mind and body.
Navy SEALS, Buddhist monks, and titans of all industries do it – you should too.
It will improve your focus, discipline, mood, stress level, coping skills, relationships,
and basically your whole life in less than 5 minutes per day! (seriously).
Read on for the 4 reasons you should have a daily breathing practice and 4 tips to
get you started.

Breathe. No really, take 5 seconds and take a deep full breath in and out. Now take
another one. Just take one more even bigger one. Congratulations. You have just
started your daily breathing practice!

I know, I know – you’re thinking, “but Matt, honestly, I’m an excellent breather. I do
it all the time, and I’m really quite good at it.”

I agree, you do it all the time, but the odds are, you’re terrible at it right now. But
don’t worry, you’ll be great soon. It will feel weird for a couple days, but it will be so
worth it. Stay with me.

The benefits of a daily breathing practice are well documented. Yes, of course, we
all breathe all the time. It’s a requirement for all carbon-based lifeforms. However,
a daily breathing PRACTICE is different from the second to second maintenance
performed by our autonomic nervous system.

The benefits:

A wide variety of studies have shown that a daily breathing practice will improve
your focus, discipline, mood, stress level, coping skills, relationships, and basically
your whole life. Here are some articles that document the benefits of controlled
breathing. They document how a daily controlled breathing practice will improve
your life and describe how these practices are implemented by Navy SEALS,
Buddhist monks, and titans of all industries. If it’s good for them, it’s good for us.

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/11/09/well/mind/breathe-exhale-repeat-the-
benefits-of-controlled-breathing.html?_r=3&referer=http%3A%2F%2Fm.facebook.com%2F

http://examinedexistence.com/the-navy-seal-breathing-technique-to-calm-down/
Homepage

Here are the highlights:

First – taking some control over your heart rate is excellent for your physical and
psychological health. Physically it improves the function of the parasympathetic
branch of the nervous system, which can slow heart rate and digestion and promote
feelings of calm as well as the sympathetic system, which controls the release of
stress hormones like cortisol.

Second – there are immediate benefits: controlled breathing can get you through
tough times. Yes, it will help you in times of crisis, like when you’re in a fender
bender on the highway. It will also help you when you’re being challenged in a
situation at home or at work. The sense of calm it gives you in these moments
enables you to think more clearly, more critically, and leads you to much better
outcomes in each given situation.

Third – there are delayed benefits: most practitioners report delayed benefits
throughout the day and in the days following their practice that include decreased
stress, increased capacity to handle stress, improved coping skills, improved peace
of mind. Who doesn’t need this?!

Fourth – It’s so accessible. Anyone can do this! This practice is so good for you it
feels like it should be expensive, time consuming, and difficult, but it’s actually none
of these things. It’s just new to most of us. A daily breathing practice can take less
than five minutes to reap major benefits. This is meditation for people who can’t
meditate.

DO YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES EACH DAY TO DEDICATE TO YOUR MENTAL AND
PHYSICAL HEALTH?
If the answer is “YES”, then keep reading for tips on continuing your daily practice.
Remember, you already started in the first paragraph of this post.
Essential elements of a daily breathing practice:
It must be regular – you must find a way to do this most days of a given week.
It must be focused – you should not be doing this while you’re doing something else.
That’s it.

Tips to get the most out of your daily breathing practice:
Find a comfortable place to do this. Your bed, shower, and toilet are all great places
to do some daily focused breathing. As long as you can get there regularly and be
focused – with no distractions – the location will be great.

Have a pre-routine. Do something like an environment check and a body check
before you start. This can take thirty seconds or less. Ask yourself – am I safe here?
Am I unlikely to get interrupted here? Am I comfortable here? Are my (shoulders,
neck, tongue, hands, feet, etc.) tensed or stressed?

Set a goal, like 15 breaths to start. Begin taking deep comfortable breaths and try to
focus only on your breath coming in and out of your body.

Other thoughts will enter your mind. That is ok. Notice them. DO NOT JUDGE
THEM. Then let them leave your mind. Get back to counting your breaths.
Once you get to 15 breaths, take 1 more and think about how great you are for
taking two minutes for yourself. You just improved your life. Go you!
As this gets easier, try increasing the number of breaths or the time you are
spending breathing deeply while being aware of your thoughts and NOT JUDGING
THEM.

Try this daily for two weeks. If you’re not impressed with the results then let me
know. I maintain a daily breathing practice and it keeps me in great shape to
receive your constructive feedback.

Here’s a link to some more mindfulness exercise options if breathing is getting
boring for you: http://www.pocketmindfulness.com/6-mindfulness-exercises-you-
can-try-today/

You’ve got nothing to lose and a lot to gain. If you’re ever in trouble, remember the
3 B’s of good health – breathe, baby, breathe!

Triggers

Posted on February 27, 2019 by Sophia Caudle

Do you ever respond to something in a way that confuses people? For example, maybe you’re watching a movie and there is a scene where someone is trapped in a tight space and you need to close your eyes while the rest of the folks in the room can just keep watching. Or maybe you have a big reaction to clowns. Maybe even reading the last two sentences was enough to increase your heart rate. If so – you are not alone.

Lots of us have strong reactions to things that pose no immediate threat. Frequently we’ll refer to these things as our “triggers” because they can trigger such a quick and negative response. Small spaces and clowns are common ones, but there are many, many more.

Our brains are so complex that they can trap just about any memory in a way that we could find triggering. I’ll discuss maladaptive memory networks and trauma responses in a different post. But for now, I wanted to make you all aware of a resource that can help with your triggers that relate to movies and tv shows. The website “www.doesthedogdie.com” currently tracks 57 different triggers including but not limited to “is there self-harm?” “are there spiders?” “does someone die by suicide?” “is there hate speech?” and many more. They track the presence of these triggers in movies, tv shows, books, and video games. You can check the website prior to viewing something to see if your trigger will come up.

This is a great resource to help you avoid triggers and enjoy some leisure time activities. Also keep in mind that we have highly effective therapies that can help you conquer these triggers once and for all. At Bull City Psychotherapy and wellness, we have excellent clinicians trained in EMDR, CBT, acupuncture and more who can help you make your triggers a thing of the past. Reach out to us at 919-382-0288 or https://bullcitypsychotherapy.com/contact-us/ if you are ready to tackle your triggers today.

Anxiety in Children

Posted on February 1, 2019 by Sophia Caudle

anxiety in children, bull city psychotherapy

Quick Hits:

Anxiety is our mind and body responding to perceived threat.
Think of anxiety in three levels: green, yellow, and red – we want to stay out of the red zone where rational responses do not live.
The main cause of anxiety is NOT YOU!
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the gold standard of anxiety treatments and works for more than 80% of people.
It’s time to ask for help if relationships or productivity are being affected, or if someone is missing valuable life experiences as a result of their anxiety.
See below for an anxiety FAQ list.

Parts of this post are written to the parent of an anxious child, however the information is consistent for adults with anxiety as well.

Does any of this sound familiar? Sweaty palms, heart racing, flushed skin, tantrums, black and white thinking, decisions we regret – these and so many more are common symptoms of anxiety.

Before we tackle the problem of anxiety I think it is helpful to define it. While anxiety can take many different shapes, I like to think of it like this:

Anxiety is our response to perceived threat.

We all perceive threats differently. What is threatening, or anxiety provoking, to someone else may not even register on your anxiety meter. One child may be terrified when being dropped off at school while another one can’t wait to get there. Regardless of the details of the perceived threat, we can all relate to feeling anxious at one time or another. Anxiety is a universally human experience.

It is the way we think about these perceived threats that determines how we deal with our anxiety. It can be helpful to think of your anxiety level in 3 zones – green, yellow, and red.

Green zone – you’re feeling good. Even if you are aware of a perceived threat, you feel in control and ready to handle it in a healthy way.

Yellow zone – you’re ok, but worried. You are aware of a perceived threat, but not sure you can deal with what is coming. This is the time to fall back and rely on your anxiety management skills.

Red zone – you are not feeling good. Your anxiety level has reached a point where rational thinking and using skills is no longer an option. Black and white thinking has taken over. From here we need to find a way to safely ride out the storm until we’re back in the yellow zone and we can use our skills.

The bad news: Anxiety is a tricky opponent. It affects different people in different ways. We don’t know everything there is to know about it yet, but we do know certain things.

The good news: One of the most important things we know is that the main cause of anxiety is NOT YOU! Let me say this again – you are not the cause of your child’s (or your own) anxiety. It is not your fault.

We do know that certain factors make it more likely for a child to experience issues dealing with anxiety. There are some genetic indicators, and there are some environmental indicators that studies show may increase a person’s likelihood of experiencing issues, but there is no reliably predictable cause. So, if you have been beating yourself up, thinking you caused the issues you are dealing with, you can stop that right now.

More good news: we know how to fix it! We have developed and studied a technique that is effective for over 80% of people dealing with issues related to anxiety! It’s called cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Basically, CBT helps us take control of our thoughts and feelings before we act in ways we regret. The basic idea is that thoughts lead to emotions and emotions lead to actions. We can practice and develop skills that allow us to interrupt our natural thoughts and/or emotions so they don’t lead us to actions that we regret.

Here’s an example. A child who has never practiced CBT skills may be anxious about being dropped off at school. They may have thoughts about being left alone, getting hurt, their parents getting hurt and not coming back to get them, or any other perceived threat. These thoughts lead to negative emotions like fear. Their body starts to react by increasing the heart-rate and responding to the perceived threat. Black and white thinking takes over. They are in the red zone and rational thought cannot occur. The action they take is to scream, cry, throw a tantrum, and do whatever it takes to protect themselves from the threat – at this point it’s essentially a fight, flight, or freeze response.

The same child, after practicing and developing CBT skills, is able to recognize when they are in the yellow zone. They recognize this feeling as a trigger to fall back on and use their skills. Their skills help them think about what is most likely to happen and that they are actually very safe at school. They even enjoy the time with their friends and teachers when they’re not in the red zone. Using their skills, they get themselves back to the green zone and do not behave in a way that they regret.

This is a very simple way of looking at CBT, but the principles are sound. CBT is the gold standard in behavior modification and anxiety spectrum issues. Medications can help, but many folks can realize wonderful results without them if they take the time to develop and practice their skills. And the best part is, the skills stay with us for a lifetime.

CBT focuses on realistic thinking skills to improve thoughts, awareness and relaxation skills to improve our emotional responses, and controlled exposure to triggering events to improve behaviors.

When should I reach out for help?
A licensed clinician can help you cultivate CBT skills in a matter of weeks. It is a great idea to reach out for help if you or your child:

Have noticed a decrease in effectiveness, performance, or productivity at school or work as a result of anxiety
Have noticed that your relationships are being negatively impacted by the symptoms and behaviors of anxiety
Are missing out on meaningful life experiences as a result of anxiety.

There are more FAQs below, but I’d like to leave you with a quick summary.

It is very likely that you did not cause the anxiety that you or your child are experiencing. It is also very likely that you can “fix” it! You can learn and develop the skills to overcome the anxiety that is getting in the way of you living your fullest life. If you are frustrated with how things have been going, reach out to a licensed clinician and ask about a CBT plan. You can do this! I suspect you will find that the experience is less scary, less difficult, more effective and more common than you think. By practicing CBT skills, most children and adults alike come to know they are much braver and more capable than they think they are.

All the best to you as you make your progress,

Matt

Frequently Asked Questions about Anxiety:

How long does it take?
Of course the details vary, but most folks see progress in 4-6 weeks and consider their first round of work complete in 10-15 weeks. At that point, they are able to practice the skills they’ve learned in their day to day life. Some folks come back to their clinician for check-ups periodically or continue regular work when they uncover new behaviors they’d like to improve.

When is it fixed?
A person might consider the problem “fixed” when their symptoms decrease to a tolerable or non-existent level. However, the skills learned in CBT are meant to be used throughout our lives. If they are neglected and forgotten, the problems are likely to return.

What if my child is gifted?
There is some correlation between intellectual aptitude and anxiety issues. CBT is very effective with folks in these situations.

What if the child is resistant?
This is very common. Whether it’s the stigma associated with seeking help or the fact that talking about anxiety can increase a person’s anxiety – some folks are hesitant to working with a counselor. The truth is that no one can make progress without effort. So, they need to want to make improvements in order to do the necessary work to see results. However, there are techniques that help people stay in touch with their motivation and keep them coming back. Rewards and reinforcement can also be used at age-appropriate levels.

What about repetitive behaviors?
This is another sign that it is time to talk with a licensed clinician. Repetitive behaviors can be signs of other issues. They can also be improved by similar strategies – including building CBT skills and tapping into a person’s true motivation. The earlier one seeks treatment for these issues, the better.

What about siblings?
All of us are part of family systems to one degree or another. So none of our behaviors exist in isolation. Siblings can play a huge role in making symptoms better or worse. One of the many wonderful things about CBT skills is that they can benefit the entire family. If there is a dynamic with your child’s sibling(s) that is impacting their progress, you definitely want to bring that to the attention of your counselor.

How do I know what’s normal?
If you suspect that your child’s behavior may be outside of normal/typical range, you should seek the opinion of a licensed professional – this could be a counselor, pediatrician, or social worker. They will be able to help you decide what your next steps should be.

What do I do about test anxiety?
This is one of the most common triggers for anxiety in children. It also typically responds very well to treatment. Building CBT skills around reality checking, pre-test routines, and positive self-talk typically go a long way to relieving these symptoms.

Could it be manipulation instead of anxiety?
If, for example, throwing a tantrum gets the child what they want, then it is possible they have learned to manipulate their environment by using behaviors that are similar to those experiencing anxiety. It is important to be honest and consistent about the child’s behavior and your responses in order to know the truth about what is happening. A licensed clinician will be able to help you to know what to look for and what your next steps should be. Typically if the behavior becomes dangerous or is limiting their productivity or relationships, then it is more than manipulation. Either way, your clinician will be able to help you practice strategies for improvement.

To schedule an appointment with Matt, please call the office at (919) 382-0288 or Matt’s direct line is (919) 794-5490, or email at matt@bullcitypsychotherapy.com.

Are you wasting half your joy?

Posted on December 17, 2018 by Sophia Caudle

How to get the most out of your experiences (and life).

Joy anticipation Bull City Psychotherapy Matt Kreiner Sophia Caudle

Quick hits

The anticipation can be almost as great as the thing itself
You are missing out on joy and pleasure if you do not appreciate and reflect on things
We become wired to overlook the positives in our lives. Fight this.
Here are 3 things you should do to enjoy your life more today.

Here’s the thing – we’re wasting so much pleasure. Most of us grind through our weeks and find a couple of highlights to enjoy. Some quality time with someone we love, a cheat meal, etc. Whatever those moments of happiness are, we usually confine them to the moments themselves – and this, dear reader, is the heartbreaking part: we’re leaving 60% of our pleasure on the table.

For the sake of this conversation let’s agree on the following math: 30% of our pleasure comes from anticipation, 40% comes from the event itself, and 30% of our pleasure comes from reflection, otherwise known as the back 30.

Anticipation

Before I focus on the main point of this post (the back 30) I want to focus on anticipation. There have been many studies that indicate anticipation can be almost as pleasurable as the thing itself. I like this article for describing the phenomenon.

The main idea here is that if you intentionally look forward to something, for example a vacation, you can deepen the richness of the experience by reading up on the location, watching movies that feature the location, making a playlist to go with the trip, planning your outfits, planning your meals, etc. Looking forward to the trip can be almost as fun as experiencing it all.

The back 30%: Active Reflection

So, you spent all this time training for your 5k. You researched a training plan, bought some running gear, picked a race, trained like crazy, and crushed it! What an experience! The training was liberating. You did things you weren’t sure you could do. You pushed through pain. The energy on race day was unlike anything you’ve been a part of before. The pride immediately after was special.

Then what? Did you let the experience die there? Did you immediately start planning the next one? If so, you left 30% of your joy on the table.

You accomplished something wonderful! Take a little bit of time to acknowledge that! Think about a way that’s meaningful to you and soak up that back 30! Maybe it’s a great steak dinner with dessert. Maybe it’s a framed case for your certificate and medal. Maybe it’s a thank you note to your partner for watching the kids all those hours you were out slogging through training runs. Whatever it is –this reflective activity will deepen the richness of your experience and help you tap in to that back 30% of joy to be had.

Here are some more ideas and suggestions:

A Shutterfly/memory book to finally organize those pictures from that great vacation

A thank you note to a friend/family member/parent who helped you with that favor – tell them what it really meant to you and what it allowed you to accomplish.

A new portfolio, brief case, or outfit in honor of that new job you got last year.

If you’re not sure where to start, make an “Accomplishments in the Last Year” list. Our weekly routines wire us to forget all the great things we’ve done so we can move on to whatever is next on the list. Take a break. Take a breath. Intentionally reflect on how great you are and how much pleasure you are forbidding yourself to experience by moving on so quickly.

This week

Pick 1 thing from your past and brainstorm how to tap into the back 30% of joy you left sitting on the table.

Pick 1 thing you did today that you did not fully relish. What can you do right now to get the most out of that experience?

Pick 1 thing you’ll do this week. What is something you will intentionally do to make sure you don’t waste the back 30?

Take stock of how rich these experiences become and how your pleasure deepens as you tap in to this reflective gratitude. I’m going to go reward myself for writing such a phenomenal blog post.

All the best as you make your progress,
Matt

Why Getting Enough Sleep is Critical to Your Health

Posted on September 10, 2018 by Kim Shackleford

Sleep deprivation - BullCityPsychotherapy - SophiaCaudle Kim Shackleford - healthy sleep

The result of not sleeping is much more serious than you think. Yes, you can wake up overtired, moody, mentally foggy, having poor energy levels without the alertness to handle tasks as you should. There are alarming things that happen when you do not sleep consistently. Chronic sleep deprivation can lead to depression, weight gain, premature aging by a major reduction in growth hormone which is released during sleep, increased inflammation, decreased immune function and many dysfunctions in the body. More importantly, if you do not get good quality sleep or enough sleep it can take years off your life. It is important as a goal to get a minimum of 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night. There is a study by the Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine that showed a 400% increase in cancer for those who sleep less than 6 hours a night. Lack of sleep actually triples your chance of these conditions. It seems to be one of the first things people decide they can disregard in terms of health. People think if they work out and eat somewhat healthy that is the end all. Your sleep cycle is so important for your long-term health. Read more Why Getting Enough Sleep is Critical to Your Health ›

Ambiguous Grief: The 5th “Big D” Disappointment

Posted on August 13, 2018 by Sophia Caudle

Ambiguous Grief Disappointment Sophia Caudle Bull City Psychotherapy

In my current exploratory research into ambiguous grief, it has become very clear, very quickly, that there is another type of grief that is just as important as the four previously identified types of ambiguous grief: Divorce, Disclosure, Diagnosis, and Death of a Relationship. This 5th ‘Big D’ is Disappointment.

Should I Take Psychiatric Medication?

Posted on June 26, 2018 by Sophia Caudle

Should I take psychiatric medication?
If you have ever experienced symptoms of anxiety or depression, you may have considered taking a psychiatric medication. Perhaps, an antidepressant has been recommended. Maybe you are already seeing a therapist to help with these symptoms and the therapist has suggested you consider medication. But you don’t want to take medication. Or maybe you want to know more about them before you start a new prescription. Read more Should I Take Psychiatric Medication? ›

Do you know what gratitude is?

Posted on June 14, 2017 by Sophia Caudle

Quick Hits:

Gratitude is not simply saying “thank you”.
You should be intentionally practicing gratitude daily because of its many proven physical and psychological health benefits.
Simple, quick exercises can help you realize these many benefits.(action steps listed below)

Personal disclaimer (you can skip this part if you just want the tips): I LOVE this topic more than just about any other. I’m fascinated by gratitude. I’ve spoken to people who have made gratitude the cornerstone of their lives. It is the foundation of their spiritual condition. I’ve also spoken to people who have ever hardly given it a second thought. To me, anything that covers that much ground has got to be interesting. This post discusses the academic research that has defined gratitude, proven its utility in our lives, and prescribed ways to practice it. Whether you practice gratitude daily, or never think about it, I suspect you’ll find this information intriguing if not downright exhilarating. Here’s the gratitude post…

Depression, Anxiety and Insomnia Treatment: ALPHA-STIM AID

Posted on June 1, 2017 by Sophia Caudle

Bull City Psychotherapy has a new and effective treatment to add to your personal toolbox for help with depression, anxiety, and insomnia. Alpha-Stim is a clinically proven medical device that relieves anxiety, insomnia, and depression by using electromedical technology. Alpha-Stim has a unique patented waveform that starts at the electron level to allow your body’s cells to return to their natural functioning states. Alpha-Stim provides long lasting cumulative relief without the risk of negative effects such as tolerance and/or reliance on medications.

The Alpha-Stim current is applied with easy to use clips that attach to the ear lobes for at least 20 minutes 2-3 times per week, or on an as needed basis. Alpha-Stim can help you feel a relaxed sense of well-being.

What to Expect From Your Alpha-Stim Treatments?

Anxiety reduction is usually experienced during a single treatment, and may last for hours or days after. Insomnia is often improved after the initial treatment as well, but may take up to

four weeks to see a significant change. Depression typically takes at least three weeks of daily treatment before you may notice a significant improvement.

Is Alpha-Stim Safe?

There are over 100 research studies proving the effectiveness and safety of Alpha-Stim. Go to www.alpha-stim.com to read more.

Dr. Sophia Caudle is a certified a certified Alpha-Stim clinician and distributor. Please contact her for more information.

Anxiety

Breathe, baby, breathe

Triggers

Anxiety in Children

Are you wasting half your joy?

Why Getting Enough Sleep is Critical to Your Health

Ambiguous Grief: The 5th “Big D” Disappointment

Should I Take Psychiatric Medication?

Do you know what gratitude is?

Depression, Anxiety and Insomnia Treatment: ALPHA-STIM AID

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