Why Now Is the Time To Face Your Porn Addiction

Posted on July 23, 2018 by Sophia Caudle

Remember when Harry Potter gazes into the Mirror of Erised? His own parents gaze back at him adoringly–the same parents who gave their lives to protect him from the evil Voldemort. But Dumbledore warns Harry that some people have been so captivated by the mirror that they literally cannot walk away. The mirror is terribly alluring because it reflects the viewer’s deepest desire. Erised, by the way, is ‘desire’ spelled backward.

In a similar way, addicts can be lost in the gaze of the unreality of porn–by unresolved issues that are a reflection of their deepest desire. As Dr. Patrick Carnes writes, “Gazing at the fantasy is like pouring water into a bottomless glass. It never fills. In this way our addiction is an ally to the self, protecting some truth we wish not to face” (Carnes, Facing the Shadow). Our core issues can be related to childhood trauma, guilt over something we have done or failed to do, or a tendency to compartmentalize our feelings with unreality, to name a few. Read more Why Now Is the Time To Face Your Porn Addiction ›

Ambiguous Grief and the ‘4 Big D’s’

Posted on July 10, 2018 by Sophia Caudle

marriage counseling durham nc ambiguous grief

Ambiguous Grief is the grief experienced from the loss of a loved one, who is still alive, accompanied by a change or death of the relationship. © (Caudle & Sarazin, 2018).

When we lose a loved one, and they are still alive, it can obviously be very painful. When our loved one is still living and we are not with them, sometimes we have difficulties accepting the current situation.

There are many reasons why we might lose someone we love, even if they are still living. The feeling after the loss is ambiguous grief. Ambiguous grief differs from typical grief, because our loved one has not died, but rather he/she is now absent from our life in the way we had grown accustomed to. Read more Ambiguous Grief and the ‘4 Big D’s’ ›