partners of sex addicts

Why Now Is the Time To Face Your Porn Addiction

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Remember when Harry Potter gazes into the Mirror of Erised? His own parents gaze back at him adoringly–the same parents who gave their lives to protect him from the evil Voldemort. But Dumbledore warns Harry that some people have been so captivated by the mirror that they literally cannot walk away. The mirror is terribly alluring because it reflects the viewer’s deepest desire. Erised, by the way, is ‘desire’ spelled backward.

In a similar way, addicts can be lost in the gaze of the unreality of porn–by unresolved issues that are a reflection of their deepest desire. As Dr. Patrick Carnes writes, “Gazing at the fantasy is like pouring water into a bottomless glass. It never fills. In this way our addiction is an ally to the self, protecting some truth we wish not to face” (Carnes, Facing the Shadow). Our core issues can be related to childhood trauma, guilt over something we have done or failed to do, or a tendency to compartmentalize our feelings with unreality, to name a few. Read more Why Now Is the Time To Face Your Porn Addiction ›

What is Ambiguous Grief?

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Ambiguous Grief

 

Have you ever lost someone that you loved very much…..and he/she is still alive? Has one of your loved ones ever completely changed their personality, and thus your relationship is not the same? Do you love someone who you cannot be with, because it will jeopardize your recovery? If you answered, ‘Yes’ to any of these questions, you have experienced ambiguous grief.  If you think you are either experiencing, or have experienced Ambiguous Grief, please complete this very brief survey and help us learn more about ambiguous grief, so we can all benefit from more knowledge on this new topic, and more people can be helped. Thank you!  

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Betrayal Trauma

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Betrayal trauma occurs when we are wounded by someone we have come to trust.  When we put faith into another person to be there for us, especially to love us, our hearts and our minds come to recognize them as safe.  They can be trusted with our feelings. When that trust is broken the pain can be devastating, and even traumatic. Read more Betrayal Trauma ›

5 Ways Partners of Sex Addicts Can Help Themselves and Their Addicted Partners

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Sex addiction, like other addictions, is an issue that negatively affects relationships. Oftentimes, relationships are also triggers for addicts to act out. It is very easy for Partners to get sucked into obsessing about their addicted partner’s behaviors and if they are using or acting out or not. It is also very difficult for Partners to focus on themselves and allow the process of recovery to occur. Here are 5 things that Partners of Sex Addicts can do to help themselves, and thus help their addicted partner:

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