Both sex and sports are activities that can sometimes cause us to be in our head instead of being in the moment and being present. For some people, the pressure of ‘performing’ can move us out of our authentic state of being into a false self where we may feel like an actor in our own life.
The language and notion of ‘performing’ can actually assist us towards our false self. Let me explain, when we think about sex and/or sports as a performance, rather than conscious and connected living, we tend to evaluate ourselves based on how we think we should be or what others think of us, rather than what we think of ourselves and how we feel. Performing is what actors do on the stage. Our real life should not be a performance, but rather a conscious life, including connection with ourselves, others, and feeling all of our feelings in helpful ways. In regards to sex and sports, if we get too disconnected from ourselves and our feelings and we focus solely on performance, this process in itself will eventually result in poor ‘performances’, because our feelings at some point will break through and our observable abilities will be affected.
In my practice, I work with many men whose performance anxiety creates serious impairment in their physical successes, not due to a physical issue, but rather due to their false self being in control for too long, and not working on growing their true sense of self while focusing on physical ability and prowess.
When we focus too heavily on performance, rather than a more balanced goal set including both mental mastery and physical excellence, we can become unbalanced, disconnected, and sometimes find ourselves creating anxiety if we do not perform at our expected or desired level.
Both sex and sports require conscious connection within ourselves if we want to sustain excellence. Performance without mental and emotional mastery eventually can wane, and if we are not consciously connected, it can be difficult to recover, so we can show up in our true and best self.
If you want to be a Mental Master and learn how to recover from performance anxiety, contact Dr. Sophia at sophia@queencityhealthysex.com or text only at 919-698-7061.
